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A Monologue to God

Commemorating the tragedy that started on January 1st, 2023, and 2 weeks later.  On love.   God, At the end of 2022, I was hoping that 2023 will be good, but you gave me such a terrible heartbreak in early 2023. Thank you, lesson learned.  I thank you God for giving me such a pure heart of human to my life. Regardless of my ego and selfishness, I should admit that he's the right decision to make but ended up with me being a mess.  So there you go, a long love letter from a feeling that I cannot express directly to him. Stupid me, God, I hope he knew what I feel towards him purely, without the ego and the fear.  Since the day we broke up, I cannot stop thinking, why is it going south? what's gone wrong? I think I'm gonna be okay, but I've never felt such a terrible loss like this cause deep inside...I know that this is something that is fixable but I'm afraid to be a supernumerary person (again).  I remember the moment when we were having a talk in fron...